February 14, 2009
The Untrustworthy Reptile offers a way out of the recession
For first time visitors to this blog, it is our practice to devote weekday posts to fairly serious human issues. From time to time, however, we open this space to include commentaries by animals in and around Goat Rope Farm.
We are not entirely pleased to run this commentary by an occasional visitor who declines to give his proper name and is referred to around these parts as the Untrustworthy Reptile.
His appearance on this blog does not imply an endorsement of anything he may say and we further must deny any liability for consequences, medical or otherwise, that may follow from taking the advice he offers. Indeed, we only allow this commentary to be published because of our reverence for the First Amendment, although the extent to which it applies to reptiles is unclear.
Without further ado, we present
THE UNTRUSTWORTHY REPTILE'S ECONOMIC RECOVERY PLAN
Hey you! Yeah, the funny looking one. C'mere. I got something for you.
You know how the economy is in the toilet? All those jobs lost. All those banks going under. All those foreclosures. All that debt. Well, you know what? There's an easy way out.
That's right. I just happen to have in my possession my own economic recovery plan that would put everybody back on Easy Street in no time. And it's painless and so simple nobody could possibly be against it. Everybody would wind up smelling like a rose.
Wanna see it? I've got it right here. It's in my mouth. Way back there.
Just put your hand right in. C'mon, reach for it. Just put it part way in for a second...
Hey, wait! Where are you going? Come back here! I hate you! I hope you starve!
GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED