It's a tradition: annual Christmas Hamlet quote

That's right, it's that time of year again, which means it's time to quote  what the sentry Marcellus has to say about Christmas as he stands on the battlements of the castle of Elsinore in Act 1 Scene 1 of Hamlet.

The tone of the scene is pretty ominous. Things aren't going great in Denmark. King Hamlet (senior) has died under mysterious circumstances. Gertrude, his widow, married Claudius, his brother, with unseemly rapidity. Meanwhile, Fortinbras, the young Norwegian prince, is making warlike moves.

If all that wasn't enough, two guards on the night watch have seen what seems to be the ghost of the dead king on the battlements--and they're convinced this is an ill omen.

The guards, Marcellus and Bernardo, have invited the student Horatio, Hamlet's best friend, to join them in their lonely vigil, where for some nights past a ghost has appeared resembling the late King Hamlet, father of the prince who is the main character of the story.

Horatio represents a prototype of modernity, an intellectual familiar with the tradition but skeptical of it. Yet even he must concede the power of the unknown after witnessing the phantom, which he takes as a portent of bad things to come.

Marcellus then points out that there are also sometimes portents of good, particularly at this season of the year:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long:
And then, they say, no spirit dares stir abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

At this point, all I can do is say with Horatio something that has become a mantra of mine on many things spiritual, "So have I heard and do in part believe it."

Would that it were so this holiday season and beyond.

Annual Christmas Hamlet quote

That's right, it's that time of year again, which means it's time to quote the sentry Marcellus as he stands on the battlements of the castle of Elsinore in Act 1 Scene 1 of Hamlet.

The tone of the scene is pretty ominous. Marcellus and Bernardo have invited the student Horatio to join them in their lonely night vigil where for some nights past a ghost has appeared resembling the late King Hamlet, father of the prince who is the main character of the story.

Horatio represents a prototype of modernity, an intellectual familiar with the tradition but skeptical of it. Yet even he must concede the power of the unknown after witnessing the phantom, which he takes as a portent of bad things to come.

Marcellus then points out that there are also sometimes portents of good, particularly at this season of the year:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long:
And then, they say, no spirit dares stir abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

At this point, all I can do is say with Horatio, "So have I heard and do in part believe it."

Would that it were so this holiday season and beyond.

Speaking of Christmas

That's right, it's that time of year again, which means it's time to for the annual Christmas Shakespeare quote as spoken by the sentry Marcellus as he stands on the battlements of the castle of Elsinore in Act 1 Scene 1 of Hamlet.

The tone of the scene is pretty ominous. The legitimate ruler is no more. A usurper is on the throne. There are wars and rumors of war and evil portents in the land.

I feel sorry for those guys...

Marcellus and Bernardo have invited the student Horatio to join them in their lonely night vigil where for some nights past a ghost has appeared resembling the late King Hamlet, father of the prince who is the main character of the story.

Horatio represents a prototype of modernity, an intellectual familiar with the tradition but skeptical of it. Yet even he must concede the power of the unknown after witnessing the phantom, which he takes as a portent of bad things to come.


Marcellus then points out that there are also sometimes portents of good, particularly at this season of the year:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long:
And then, they say, no spirit dares stir abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

At this point, all I can do is say with Horatio, "So have I heard and do in part believe it."

Would that it were so this holiday season and beyond.

(Note: this post was reprinted from this this blog at time last year. In one form or other it shows up here most years at Christmas. So have I heard and do in  part believe it. Meanwhile, I wish I'd written this Christmas commentary by Chris Reagan.)

Annual Christmas Shakespeare feature

That's right, it's that time of year again, which means it's time to quote the sentry Marcellus as he stands on the battlements of the castle of Elsinore in Act 1 Scene 1 of Hamlet.

The tone of the scene is pretty ominous. The legitimate ruler is no more. A usurper is on the throne. There are wars and rumors of war and evil portents in the land.

I feel sorry for those guys...

Marcellus and Bernardo have invited the student Horatio to join them in their lonely night vigil where for some nights past a ghost has appeared resembling the late King Hamlet, father of the prince who is the main character of the story.

Horatio represents a prototype of modernity, an intellectual familiar with the tradition but skeptical of it. Yet even he must concede the power of the unknown after witnessing the phantom, which he takes as a portent of bad things to come.

Marcellus then points out that there are also sometimes portents of good, particularly at this season of the year:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long:
And then, they say, no spirit dares stir abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

At this point, all I can do is say with Horatio, "So have I heard and do in part believe it."

Would that it were so this holiday season and beyond.

An Ayn Rand Christmas (note: that was irony)

Read em and weep. I'll put  up something uplifting tomorrow.

Two Christmas--ish items

Christmas Day is past, but we're still in the twelve day range, so I thought these two Christmas related stories might be worth sharing.

The first involves my favorite target, Ayn Rand. No doubt tens of thousands of Americans watched the classic film "It's a Wonderful Life" this holiday season. It turns out that Rand and her orcs buddies warned the FBI that the film was commie propaganda. I mean, obviously compassion and community are subversive ideas that have no place in Rand land. Sadly, they don't seem to have much of a place in today's America either.

Finally, I have been following the story of a person in an Ohio suburb who stirred up a bit of controversy with a zombie nativity scene. He was ordered to take it down, supposedly for reasons of zoning rather than content, but at last word defied the order.

There you have it.

Annual Christmas Hamlet quote

That's right, it's that time of year again, which means it's time to quote the sentry Marcellus as he stands on the battlements of the castle of Elsinore in Act 1 Scene 1 of Hamlet.

The tone of the scene is pretty ominous. Marcellus and Bernardo have invited the student Horatio to join them in their lonely night vigil where for some nights past a ghost has appeared resembling the late King Hamlet, father of the prince who is the main character of the story.

Horatio represents a prototype of modernity, an intellectual familiar with the tradition but skeptical of it. Yet even he must concede the power of the unknown after witnessing the phantom, which he takes as a portent of bad things to come.

Marcellus then points out that there are also sometimes portents of good, particularly at this season of the year:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long:
And then, they say, no spirit dares stir abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

At this point, all I can do is say with Horatio, "So have I heard and do in part believe it."

Would that it were so this holiday season and beyond.

Christmas wishes, Dante trivia and a bit of Shakespeare

Best holiday wishes to all from the humanoid and other animal inhabitants of Goat Rope Farm. By chance, I discovered some trivia about a Christmas Eve anniversary I'd like to share. A co-worker of mine regularly sends out emails highlighting events in monetary history.

I must confess that I don't always read them but this time I did and found something interesting. On Dec. 24, 1294, Pope Boniface VIII was consecrated. He instituted the first Christian year of Jubilee, which promised forgiveness of sins for those who confessed and made pilgrimages (which by chance or not enriched church coffers).

Boniface is best known today, however, for being the person chiefly responsible for banishing the poet Dante Alighieri from Florence. Dante calls him out in Canto 19 of the Inferno.

In the spirit of Christmas charity, I will, however, put in a good word for Boniface: if he didn't exile Dante, we might not have the Divine Comedy. And if that were the case, what would be the point of living?

SPEAKING OF LITERARY IMMORTALS, I make it a practice every Christmas to include these lines from Hamlet:

"Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
This bird of dawning singeth all night long;
And then, they say, no spirit dare stir abroad,
The nights are wholesome, then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time."

So have I heard and do in part believe it. May it be so this year!

Holiday wishes and other stuff

Sorry about irregular posts lately. The Spousal Unit and I are on the road visiting relatives, dodging storms and such. I always get a bit nervous on the road given possible calamities that can happen at or around the farm...until I recall that they can happen when we're there as well.

One such already happened when the Aged Parent had a fall and banged up her face.  Fortunately, I think she's going to be OK. I hope there's less drama on the animal front.

Re: current events, how 'bout that NRA? I kind of like a saying going around the internet that calls for putting a teacher in every gun store.

WORTH A LOOK. Here's a NY Times story on how class and inequality can play out in a college setting.

HERE IT COMES AGAIN. Meanwhile, it's that time of year again. Regular readers may recall that this is when I bring out the annual Christmas quote from Hamlet:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
This bird of dawning singeth all night long;
And then, they say,  no spirit dare stir abroad,
The nights are wholesome, then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

So have I heard and do in part believe it. May it be so this time around.

So hallow'd and so gracious is the time

There are certain annual traditions at this blog. Among these are the yearly Thanksgiving possum recipe and, more to the point, trotting out one of my favorite quotes from Hamlet.

The scene is early in the play when Horatio, Marcellus and Bernardo are on the battlements waiting for Hamlet Sr.'s ghost to appear. Marcellus says

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
This bird of dawning singeth all night long;
And then, they say, no spirit dare stir abroad,
The nights are wholesome, then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

Horatio speaks my mind, saying, "So have I heard and do in part believe it." Here's hoping it holds true this year. Best holiday wishes to one and all from Goat Rope Farm!

Best. Christmas. Gift. Ever.

The old school analog model. The new digital ones take it to another level.

I don't know about you, Gentle Reader, but I'm having trouble getting worked up about Christmas. The only enthusiasm I've felt this year came when the Spousal Unit picked out a present for a 10 year old nephew in Vermont.

It was a remote control whoopie cushion. I was overcome with jealousy as soon as I saw it. The model we got was said to have such a range of flatulent sounds that it may never make exactly the same one twice. There was an additional chip you could insert for burp sounds.

That would be just the thing to lighten up meetings, legislative committees, solemn ceremonies and religious observations. I told some Quaker F/friends that this could revolutionize Friends Meetings, both by breaking up those long periods of silence and by providing a bit of a counterpoint when someone stands up to speak.

Maybe Santa will bring me one this year. I've been pretty good. Some of the time.

Epilogue: the nephew in question got to open the gift early. I'm told he amused himself with it for two solid hours. I could do four. Easy.

LET THE SLACKING BEGIN! El Cabrero is playing hookie today so there will be no links or comments. In fact, I'm slacking so much that I scheduled this post yesterday. If anything really bad happens between now and then, please accept this blog's condolences.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: HARD TO TELL AS IT IS SLACKING TOO

Annual Christmas Shakespeare quote

These lines from Hamlet are like a favorite ornament I like to take out once a year:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
This bird of dawning singeth all night long;
And then, they say, no spirit dare stir abroad,
The nights are wholesome, then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

(So have I heard and do in part believe it.)

Here's hoping that holds true this year. Best holiday wishes to all from Goat Rope Farm!

You can expect another post on Monday--just don't expect much.

GOAT ROPE ADVISOR LEVEL: SUSPENDED

Primeval soup

Lately Goat Rope is looking at the messy but interesting process of how public policy gets made (or doesn't). You'll also find links and comments about current events. If this is your first visit, please click on earlier posts.

Before any major new public policy is introduced to the public or placed on the agenda, it often begins as an idea developed by a peculiar human subspecies popularly known as policy wonks.

As John Kingdon put it in Agendas, Alternatives, and Public Policies,

Picture a community of specialists: researchers, congressional staffers, people in planning and evaluation offices and in budget offices, academics, interest group analysts. Ideas float around in such communities. Specialists have their conceptions, their vague notions of future directions, and their more specific proposals. They try out their ideas on each other by going to lunch, circulating papers, publishing articles, holding hearings, presenting testimony, and drafting and pushing legislative proposals. The process often does take years...and may be endless.

Kingdon compares the development of policy proposals to the biological process of natural selection:

Much as molecules floated around in what biologists call the "primeval soup" before life came into being, so ideas float around in these communities. Many ideas are possible, much as many molecules would be possible. Ideas become prominent and then fade. There is a long process of "softening up": ideas are floated, bills introduced, speeches made; proposals drafted, then amended in response to reaction and floated again. Ideas confront one another (much as molecules bumped into one another) and combine with one another in various ways. The "soup: changes not only through the appearance of wholly new elements, but even more by the recombination of previously existing elements. While many ideas float around in this policy primeval soup, the ones that last, as in a natural selection system, meet some criteria. Some ideas survive and prosper; some proposals are taken more seriously than others.

Believe it or not, ideas actually matter, although it's a long way from conception to implementation.

HEALTH CARE AND THE HOUSE. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says nice things about the Senate compromise on health care reform here.

JOBS AND THE FED. Here's Krugman on what the Federal Reserve can and probably won't do to boost employment.

THE HOLLY AND THE IVY AND MORE are discussed in the latest edition of Notes from Under the Fig Tree.

CHIMPS LIKE US dig music. They also like hugs.

TALKING COAL. Here's Ken Ward's Coal Tattoo post on public reaction to Senator Byrd's recent statement on the future of coal. And here's an item about coal and climate change legislation in the US Senate.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

A Shakespearean Christmas wish

Longtime Goat Rope readers may remember my fondness for these lines from Hamlet at this time of the year, but it can't hurt to take another look:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
This bird of dawning singeth all night long;
And then, they say, no spirit dare stir abroad,
The nights are wholesome, then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.

Here's hoping that holds true this year. Best holiday wishes to all from Goat Rope Farm!

You can expect another post on the Feast of St. Stephen (that's Dec. 26 for all the heathens or excessive Protestants out there)--just don't expect much.

GOAT ROPE ADVISOR LEVEL: SUSPENDED

An old holiday favorite

What would the holiday season be without favorite reruns? In that spirit, Goat Rope is pleased to once again feature a 2006 contribution by boxer and official Goat Rope Farm film critic Sandor Sege (pronounced Shandor Shegg-AY).

Once again, we must remind our readers that Mr. Sege sustained a head injury whilst crashing into a wall chasing a squeaky toy. As a result, he sometimes transposes the plots of the films he discusses. (His fondness for holiday libations is doesn't help). Nevertheless, we are convinced that his insights into the world of cinema more than compensate for this regrettable shortcoming.

It is our hope that these weekend features will help to elevate the level of public discourse and promote a greater appreciation of both the humanities and the animalities.

THE CANINE FILM CRITIC EXPLAINS "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE"

OK, so this is like everybody's all time favorite Christmas movie. It's about this Jimmy Stewart guy, except he's pretending to be someone else. That's acting, which sometimes happens in movies.

After he loses a bunch of money and thinks he messed up his whole life, he thinks about killing himself. But just before he throws himself into the river, this big twister comes and picks up his house and drops it on a witch. Only her feet are sticking out. And these little people are real happy about it.

Glenda the Good Witch tells Jimmy/the other guy that he needs to go see the Wizard to figure it all out with this angel named Toto who wants to get his wings.

Toto kind of looks like a squeaky toy to me.

So anyway he takes off on the Yellow Brick Road and is joined by some hobbits, an elf and a dwarf. They have to fight off a lot of orcs and trolls, which is kind of cool.

Moomus and Doodus say I look like a cave troll...

So anyway, they finally get to the wizard and destroy the ring. And when the bell rings, Jimmy gets his wings and goes back to Kansas.

And here's the thing: he could have got there all along.

The cinematography is outstanding. This is a technical film critic thing, but it's like in these old movies they take a bunch of pictures and show them quickly so it looks like people are moving around. So it looks like there are people moving around.

They say if you play Pink Floyd's The Wall while watching this movie you get real confused and depressed.

I think that's only true if you run out of popcorn.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer explained

As the holiday season approaches, Goat Rope is pleased to offer some insightful discussions of some of the most beloved television Christmas specials. Our canine commentator is none other than Mr. Sandor Sege (pronounced Shandor SHEGG-ay), official film critic of Goat Rope Farm.

(We must remind the reader that Mr. Sege suffered a head injury when he crashed into a wall whilst chasing a squeaky toy and has since been known to transpose the plots of the films he discusses. Nonetheless, we are convinced that his unique insights into the world of cinema more than compensate for this regrettable shortcoming.)

It is our hope that features such as this will elevate the level of cultural discourse and promote a greater appreciation of both the humanities and the animalities.

THE CANINE FILM CRITIC EXPLAINS "RUDOLPH"

OK, so like this one comes on every year and is the coolest Christmas special ever.

There's this reindeer named Rudolph, see, and he wants to help pull Santa's truck, which is really a robot in disguise. But see, he has this red nose when he comes home from college. This guy tries to tell him to get into plastics but he goes off with Mrs. Robinson instead and I got confused after that part.

Anyway, Rudolph has this little elf friend who wants to be a dentist but he gets eaten by a talking plant after being mean to his girlfriend. The other elves don't think he's very good at making toys after that.

Then there's this abominable snowman who runs around scaring people because he wants to win this disco dancing contest with his partner, who is Mrs. Claus. Santa can't do it because he's trying to get home from the Civil War. They win the contest but the mummy runs off with the prize.

It was kind of predictable if you knew the song.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

RESOLUTIONS

Caption: This man has resolved to cut back on the brewskis.

At this time of year, lots of Americans make New Year's resolutions, many of which last about as long as a WV snowstorm.

El Cabrero is actually pretty big on making resolutions, although they don't necessarily correspond with the New Year. I think there's something cool about picking some fairly distant goal and then putting in the time and effort to get there. Some take way longer than planned. My BA, for example, was acquired on the 10 year plan.

Some of the kinds of resolutions that I've enjoyed the most were of the physical type, like studying martial arts or training for a marathon or triathlon.

To me a marathon is a classical kind of goal. Most people (in their right mind anyway) can't or won't run 26.2 miles at a go. Even if you don't injure yourself trying, the body runs out of gas after 20 miles or so and most of the rest is run on some combination of guts or stupidity (the latter in my case). The secret, if there is one, is paying for it with training and focusing on one mile at a time.

Training for one usually involves months of methodical work, such as intense long runs, intervals, and tempo runs at least three times a week. I've probably run my last, as in spite of all that my heart is probably in worse shape than Dick Cheney's.

Triathlons are good ones too. The combination of swimming, biking, and running is easier on the joints than a marathon but just as intense. This is all the more so if one swims like a stone like me.

One year I went on a tear and resolved to learn a little trigonometry, having gotten off the math train with geometry in high school. That one didn't last too long, although I amused myself for a while with sine, cosine and whatever the other thingie is problems.

Several years ago, I resolved to learn Spanish. The secret in this case is marrying a teacher of the same, although I wouldn't recommend that to everybody. I can read some, babble a bit, and comprehend some if spoken slowly but I know enough to bring a native speaker to tears in a matter of minutes. I'm working on ancient Greek now, but the jury is still out on that one.

Sometimes, I resolve to do kind of random things, like read Thomas Mann's eternal novel The Magic Mountain, which is kind of like the Seinfeld show of German literature. When I got done, I wasn't sure why it seemed so important at the time.

Occasionally, I resolve to do the truly impossible, like keep my desk cleaned off and eliminate piles of paper, but that never happens. As Dirty Harry said, a man should know his limitations.

Happy New Year!

QUESTIONING THE MARKET GOD. Here's an item from the NY Times about second thoughts on an idol with feet of clay.

ON A RELATED NOTE, here's a good Gazette editorial on growing economic inequality. And here's another one all the way from Minnesota along the same lines.

HOW GOOD AND HOW PLEASANT IT IS WHEN THE BRETHREN DWELL TOGETHER IN UNITY. Except maybe in Bethlehem at Christmas time.

THINKING DIFFERENTLY. Here's an interesting item on innovation.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

WEST VIRGINIA CHAINSAW MASSACRE (WITH THE FOUR PART HARMONY)

Caption: That's what I'm talking about.

El Cabrero was prepared to write a scathing critique of the commercialism and materialism of the Christmas holiday and how sad it is that we seek fulfillment in the accumulation of toys and gadgets--but I've been forced to cancel previously scheduled blogging to make the following urgent announcement:

Me got BIG chainsaw for Christmas! Yeah, man...

It was from La Cabra.

I had a little one before but this one puts the power in power tool. I feel much better about myself as a person as a result.

But it's not all Freudian symbolism. I live far enough out in the sticks where a chainsaw is a basic accessory to transportation and sometimes a necessary precondition thereto. Then there's the whole wood stove thing, which is a plus this time of year, not to mention any number of other activities which Marx referred to under the rubric "the idiocy of rural life."

But you know, in fairness to President Bush, who has been criticized here with something like clockwork regularity, there's something to be said for spending a weekend every now and then cutting brush at the ranch.

But this Christmas wasn't all about materialism. There was also time for infantile humor. La Cabra and I attended services at a local Episcopal church where we were delighted to hear no less than two hymns sung that included the word "ass." That was awesome.

Oh yeah, then there was family stuff.

All in all, it wasn't a bad Christmas. I hope yours was OK too.

SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS, here's the latest edition of Jim Lewis' Notes From Under the Fig Tree, which includes reflections about the same as well as a new word for our vocabularies: pronoia. Check it out.

ANIMAL STEROID SCANDAL. It's not just baseball players--this NY Times article shows that birds and bugs are using chemicals to enhance performance too:

Frown though we may on steroid-style supplementation as cheating, or as competitiveness taken to unsporting and unnatural extremes, in nature such pious niceties do not apply. In nature, as the saying has it, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s whether you win — and animals will do or ingest the most outrageous, dangerous, blechy things in their quest for victory.

Egyptian vultures consume large amounts of cow and goat dung to extract traces of plant pigments that will turn the birds’ pasty faces a sexually alluring shade of mustard. A male goat will demonstrate his ardor for a nanny by drinking her urine and soaking his beard and belly in his own. Hedgehogs, according to the new “Book of Animal Ignorance,” will gnaw on the skin of poisonous toads to incorporate the amphibian toxin into its saliva, which it spits up and down its spiny frame until it is virtually immune to predation. Hedgehogs are so eager to coat themselves in foul chemicals, it seems, that they’ve been known to start salivating and self-anointing at the merest whiff of odiferous items like cigar butts, furniture polish, boiled fish and, I’m sorry to report, coffee beans.

Why don't they just get a BIG chainsaw?

EDUCATION, INCOME, EARNINGS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. Here's my suggestion as presented in a Gazette-Mail op-ed this past Sunday.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

CHRISTMAS GREETINGS

Caption: Wu, the newest addition to the Goat Rope Farm menagerie, joins with the rest (with the possible exception of the goats) in wishing all a Merry Christmas. He's already trying to get a leg up on the New Year.

By way of a Christmas Greeting, here's a little selection from Act I, Scene i of Hamlet as spoken by Marcellus:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season
comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
This bird of dawning singeth all night long.
And then they say no spirit dare stir
abroad,
The nights are wholesome, then no planets
strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So Hallowed, and so gracious, is that time.

Here's hoping that holds up this holiday season.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: SUSPENDED

WEEKEND SPECIAL: "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE"

Goat Rope is pleased to once again feature a contribution by our official film critic Mr. Sandor Sege (pronounced Shandor Shegg-AY). And, since the holiday season is fast upon us, we have decided to reprint from last year his review of the perenially popular Christmas film "It's a Wonderful Life."

Once again, we must remind our readers that Mr. Sege sustained a head injury whilst crashing into a wall chasing a squeaky toy. As a result, he sometimes transposes the plots of the films he discusses. Nevertheless, we are convinced that his insights into the world of cinema more than compensate for this regrettable shortcoming.

It is our hope that these weekend features will help to elevate the level of public discourse and promote a greater appreciation of both the humanities and the animalities.

A BOXER EXPLAINS "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE"

OK, so this is like everybody's all time favorite Christmas movie. It's about this Jimmy Stewart guy, except he's pretending to be someone else. That's acting, which sometimes happens in movies.

After he loses a bunch of money and thinks he messed up his whole life, he thinks about killing himself. But just before he throws himself into the river, this big twister comes and picks up his house and drops it on a witch. Only her feet are sticking out. And these little people are real happy about it.

Glenda the Good Witch tells Jimmy/the other guy that he needs to go see the Wizard to figure it all out with this angel named Toto who wants to get his wings. Toto kind of looks like a squeaky toy to me.

So anyway he takes off on the Yellow Brick Road and is joined by some hobbits, an elf and a dwarf. They have to fight off a lot of orcs and trolls, which is kind of cool.

Moomus and Doodus say I look like a cave troll...So anyway, they finally get to the wizard and destroy the ring. And when the bell rings, Jimmy gets his wings and goes back to Kansas.

And here's the thing: he could have got there all along.

The cinematography is outstanding. This is a technical film critic thing, but it's like in these old movies they take a bunch of pictures and show them quickly so it looks like people are moving around. So it looks like there are people moving around.

They say if you play Pink Floyd's The Wall while watching this movie you get real confused and depressed. I think that's only true if you run out of popcorn.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED