New from the Hillbilly Health Club

It's way bigger in real life.

Anxious to lose those extra holiday pounds? Feel no fret. The official Goat Rope Hillbilly Health Club has a special plan for you.

Our staff of professional trainers has devised the perfect workout using the latest equipment, in this case a tree that fell on a neighbor's yard. The workout consists of using a chainsaw, which around here is defined as a device that works for about 15 minutes, a handsaw and a splitting maul.

The routine, which combines cardio with resistance training, involves deconstructing the tree, loading it onto the "farm use" truck (if it starts) and then turning it into firewood. The stuff that is too small for the wood stove is to be dragged off and dedicated to the bi-annual Celtic bonfire (for which wicker bonfire sacrifices are strictly optional).

Don't be the last kid on your block to sign up!

SOPRANOS UPDATE. El Cabrero's heroic effort to make it through parts 1 and 2 of season 6 of The Sopranos before the Spousal Unit returns is still in progress. So far 9 episodes have been devoured and things don't look too good for Vito right now, even though he's enjoying New Hampshire. After this, progress may be delayed until Netflix and the US Postal Service do the right thing.

I'M STILL SLACKING, but here's a good summary of what the final version of health care reform is likely to do. As flawed as it is, there is some decent stuff in it.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED