July 13, 2007
WEEKEND SPECIAL: THE CANINE FILM CRITIC REVIEWS "THE GODFATHER"
For first time readers, this blog generally deals with fairly serious topics during the week. Weekends, however, are reserved for the commentaries of various animals in and around Goat Rope Farm.
We are pleased to once again welcome Mr. Sandor Sege (pronounced Shandor Shegg-AY), our official film critic.
We must remind our readers that Mr. Sege suffered a head injury when he crashed into a wall whilst chasing a squeaky toy. As a result, he has been known to transpose the plots of the films he discusses. Nonetheless, we believe that his unique insights into the world of cinema more than compensate for this regretable shortcoming.
It is our hope that features such as this will promote a greater appreciation of both the humanities and the animalities.
THE CANINE FILM CRITIC EXPLAINS "THE GODFATHER"
OK, so this movie is about an old guy who is like the head of a crime family and he's trying to figure out which of his kids is going to take over the business. His name is Don Corleone.
He's about to pick one of the kids when he goes to this science lab and is bit by a genetically modified spider. After that, he can climb up walls, jump all over the place and squirt web out of his wrists.
Doodus said if he was like a real spider, the web would come out of someplace else. Moomus told Doodus he was a dork.
Anyway, he gets this cool uniform and swings around all over New York City. Everything goes OK until this great white shark starts eating tourists right at the height of vacation season and then everybody wants him to stop it so he goes out on a boat all the way to Cambodia to kill the shark who used to be a Colonel but then went nuts.
There's a big storm and the boat lands on a witch. This makes these little people happy but not her sister, who is like the editor of some fancy fashion magazine. It all works out though, because when everything starts to get really crazy she turns out to be his sister, so they can't get married.
The symbolism of this movie is really deep, especially the part where a monkey throws up a bone and it turns into a space ship.
GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED