THE CANINE FILM CRITIC EXPLAINS BERGMAN'S "THE SEVENTH SEAL"

For first time readers, during the week this blog covers fairly serious topics, judiciously seasoned with gratuitous animal pictures.

During the weekend, however, the animals get to speak for themselves.

This weekend we once again welcome boxer Sandor Sege (pronounced Shandor Shegg-AY), official Goat Rope Farm film critic. Mr. Sege wishes us to announce that he is aghast at the low level of culture in the current cinema and that he now intends to review only highbrow films, starting with Ingmar Bergman's 1957 classic The Seventh Seal.

(Note: we must remind readers that Mr. Sege sustained a head injury when he crashed into a wall whilst chasing a squeaky toy. As a result, he has been known to transpose the plots of the films he discusses. Nonetheless, we believe that his unique insights into the world of film more than compensate for this regretable shortcoming.)

THE CANINE FILM CRITIC EXPLAINS "THE SEVENTH SEAL"

This movie is frikkin' awesome! There's like this medieval knight who comes back from the Charades where he went through all kinds of nasty stuff.

But that's just the start. When he gets back from Vietnam, where he busted out the POWS--a frequent motif in classical cinema--there's this plaque that's rampaging around and messing up everybody's teeth.

Anyway, he winds up playing a game of Battleship with Death to save his buddy Ted. Or maybe he's Ted and the other one is Bill.

He almost loses, but then he remembers the crane technique that Mr. Miyagi taught him and bonks him one.

There is heavy symbolism in the movie, like from the Bible or something. Doodus says the name comes from the Book of Revelations, but I thought that was about penguins instead of seals.

I kind of wish they made a movie about the Seven Penguins and that Snow White person instead. Or was that the Seven Monkeys?

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED