Thoughts on seeing bears

My daughter, sometimes referred to here as La Cabrita, is a seriously educated woman. As in doctorate. Most of her views on the world are fairly conventional, with a few exceptions.

One such exception is her oft stated conviction that a zombie apocalypse on the order of The Walking Dead could actually occur.

In her words, "that **** could really happen!"

( Another, sad to say, is her belief that living in trees would be a solution to that problem. But that's a digression...)

Her other main odd belief is that bears are intelligent, consciously malevolent evil creatures which exist only to do humanity harm.

I disagree with this assessment, thinking of them more as wild, large and somewhat dangerous dog cousins with strange sleeping habits which should be left alone but which are otherwise cool.

Although the black bear is the state animal of West Virginia, I haven't seen a whole lot of them here. My closest views were had in Washington state, Vermont, and Florida.

Now there's a triangle. Talk about going to extremes...

My closest encounter happened while walking with the Spousal Unit and dogs in the Vermont woods, when we saw one coming down from a tree.

This happened at the same time as Pope Francis' visit to the US. My mind naturally ran to two common rhetorical questions: "Is the pope Catholic?" and "Does a bear relief itself in the woods?"

I took that as a sign from above and made it a point to try to answer every question in the affirmative for the next month or so.

Most recently, I was jogging on a trail in Florida that ran by the edge of the woods. The trail ran for about .75 miles long and I was on lap two or three when I saw something in the distance. I asked myself whether that bush or tree was there on the last lap. When I got closer, I saw it standing on all fours, kind of like pictures I've seen or gorillas. Then it got up and walked away.

Florida bears have a reputation, justified in my opinion, of being pretty chill. I kept running the loop but reversed course in order to give it time to get away--and not to push my luck. 

Still, there was a feeling of awe, fascination and a bit of an instinctive spine chill at seeing such a magnificent creature.

I hope I get the chance to feel that again. From a suitable distance.

Of popes and bears

Two of the most common rhetorical questions one is likely to encounter are:

1. Is the pope Catholic?

and

2. Does a bear relieve him- or herself in the woods?

(Sometimes the questions are combined, although I don't believe the evidence is as clear about the religious affiliations of our ursine friends or the sylvan habits of the papacy.)

Still, what a coincidence is this: on the same day that Pope Francis gave his historic speech to Congress, the Spousal Unit and I saw a black bear while walking in the woods.

Holy Jungian synchronicity, Batman!

One more (zombie) thing

OK, for the record, I never swore off blogging about zombies. I just said I planned on cutting back a bit. And I have, mostly.

But a friend sent me this item about how Delaware County Ohio health officials used volunteer “zombies” to help with a hazardous materials decontamination drill. When the call for zombies went out, people came from as far as 100 miles away to join in. They were given instructions for makeup and those who needed it  got help in that department. There was even a “best zombie walk” contest.

Fortunately for the volunteers, they were decontaminated with a fire hose and candy rather than having their brains whacked.  But some zombiephobes, including no doubt my over-educated daughter, would want to remind the public that real zombies won’t go down that easy.

(Said daughter also has a thing about bears…which makes me wonder about the possibility of a zombie/bear alliance.)

GEARING UP FOR THE SOCIAL JUSTICE FIGHTS OF 2012? Click here.

ARGUMENTATIVE TEENS may not be such a bad thing.

APOCALYPSE NOW? Maybe not.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

Axles and cusswords

Image by way of wikipedia.

In his book Deer Hunting with Jesus, author Joe Bagaent describes some characteristics of Scotch-Irish Appalachians. He had a great one liner that describes my family pretty well:

Cussing is a form of punctuation to us.

Profanity was regarded as a high art form by my father, although my mother is no slouch herself. I've inherited their genes as has my daughter. My son, for some reason, doesn't seem as disposed to it.

I mention all this because my memory has been jogged recently when I was told that my grandson does good on his spelling tests. Back in the day, I did pretty good at spelling. In fifth grade, I came in second in our school's spelling bee.

The great irony was that I lost on--of all things--a four letter word, which is something I kind of specialize in. It was axle by the way and I ended it with an e-l. Since then I have redoubled my efforts to never again be out done in the four letter word department. And that's no ****.

THE RICH GET RICHER...Robert Reich rants here.

SOMETHING ELSE FOR FLAT WORLDERS TO DENY: rapidly melting Greenland and Antarctic ice.

PUNISHED FOR SUCCESS. Here's James Surowiecki on the politics of the Recovery Act.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: a Montana woman fought off a charging bear with a zucchini.

NOTE. This post was scheduled for publication the night before. If anything really good or bad happens between now and then, please accept appropriate congratulations or condolences.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

Lions and tigers and...

Image courtesy of wikipedia.

...bears--oh my! El Cabrero is not an overly superstitious person (aside from spilling salt, not rocking a chair with nobody sitting in it, knocking on wood, etc.). However, in the event that anything really weird happens around here involving our ursine friends, here are three odd things that have happened lately:

1. I had a dream about seeing a bear on a hill near the pond on Goat Rope Farm;

2. My daughter had a dream about a massive bear attack on the farm a week later; and

3. The next day, she read in a post on this blog that a neighbor told us he saw a bear on our road in the middle of the night.

(The record should also state that said daughter, La Cabrita, has all kinds of delusions about bears as incredibly malevolent creatures who plot at every opportunity to do harm to humankind. A Freudian might say bears in this case represent repressed aspects of the unconscious.)

My theory is that bears are pretty harmless creatures who couldn't be much worse than some of the dogs on this hollow--including ours.

But if anything really bearish happens around here, then yes, Virginia, there is a Twilight Zone.

VETERAN'S DAY. Here's a civilian salute to the veterans of past and present wars. And here's hoping there will be fewer veterans who have to serve in combat in the future.

HOW BAD IS IT? Here's an article about the collateral damage of the current recession, including an increase in suicides.

THE LABOR MOVEMENT is becoming more diverse, according to a new report. Women are getting closer to outnumbering men.

LET THE WILD RUMPUS BEGIN. WV coal industry leaders and elected officials met yesterday about concerns of increased regulation of mining from the Obama administration. This could mark the beginning of another ruling class hissy fit.

PERCHANCE TO DREAM. Some researchers believe that dreaming is less a psychological event than the brain warming itself up for daily life.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

That's a relief

Chamber pots. Image courtesy of wikipedia.

A while back, I posted an item about how the U.S. Chamber of Commerce was losing members due to its policy of denying climate change and opposing measures to address it. Last week, the Huntington WV Chamber held an event with a similar theme.

I guess that settles it.

On the other hand, I imagine they'd deny the Pythagorean theorem, the law of gravity, the War of 1812 and the virtue of their mothers if they thought it might inconvenience a corporation or two.

SICK DAYS. The fact that 40 percent of US workers lack paid sick days is contributing to spreading a pandemic.

GIRL POWER. Investing in them pays off for everybody.

LIES, DAMN LIES, AND statistics.

DID YOU HEAR THE LATEST about gossip?

IS IT A TANK or a dinosaur?

HUMMING. Bears do it when they're content. Speaking of which, a neighbor said he saw one on our road recently.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED