A rooster and a gentleman

It is with heavy heart that we announce the passing of longtime Goat Rope Farm resident, bantam rooster and noted free market economist Dr. Denton "Denny" Dimwit. Dr. Dimwit was a frequent contributor to Goat Rope, where he eloquently defended unrestricted capitalism.

I can honestly say the Dr. Dimwit was by far the most intelligent spokesperson for this school of thought that I have ever encountered. For real. I mean it.

By way of tribute, we republish one of his earlier commentaries which is representative of his body of work and scholarship:

FROM THE GOAT ROPE ARCHIVES: DENNY DIMWIT ON THE RECESSION

For first time visitors, this blog generally covers fairly serious human issues during the week. Weekends, however are reserved for the contributions of various animals in and around Goat Rope Farm.

This weekend, we welcome back bantam rooster and noted free market economist Dr. Denton "Denny" Dimwit. Dr. Dimwit is director of the Goat Rope Farm Public Policy Foundation, a fellow at a number of conservative and libertarian think tanks, and a senior economic advisor to the Bush administration.

It is our hope that by providing (bio)diverse viewpoints, we will elevate the level of discourse, promote a climate of deep mutual respect, and reduce the tragic polarization of our times.

THE DIMWIT DISPATCH

Crudawackadoodledoo! Jeez, this blog just keeps getting stupider. I just ate a more intelligent bug. It's about time you had somebody cool on here.

And what's all this stuff about a recession? Suck it up, crybabies! The market knows what it's doing and if it kicks you in the nads, deal with it. You don't need to extend unemployment benefits--you need to get rid of them! If people are stupid enough to lose their jobs they just need to find another one.

Besides, if you give money to poor people, they're just gonna waste it on living.

The only thing the government should do is privatize stuff. And they should contract that out too.

And all this stuff about a stimulus? I'll show you a stimulus. Check out the picture. The handsome little guy in the background is me. Now check out what's in front of me. See that BIG hen? Yeah, man! That's what I'm talking about. And she's with me! Got it?

That's all the stimulus I need to jump start my economy. That's the beauty of the market.

And that's the truth. You bet your cloaca.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED