The perfect Christmas gift for 2011

I haven't travelled much with a GPS navigating system, but I have been along for the ride when others used them. It seemed kind of weird to me when they start talking to you.

But then it occurred to me how cool it would be to have a trash-talking GPS, one that, for example, might call you a dip**** when you took a wrong turn and otherwise unleash a stream of profanity when you didn't do what it told you.

For family travel, one could set it on mild putdowns, like "I can't believe I'm stuck in a car with you weenies," but you could pull out all the stops for adult travel. It would make getting lost more fun than ever and would encourage people to go to new and different places just to hear it cut loose, although this might contribute to oil consumption and extra carbon emissions.

I probably won't have time this year to take a correspondence course on GPS engineering, so somebody will probably steal this idea and make a mint.

WHO'S IN CHARGE? Republicans in Congress are polling business groups to ask what rules they want axed.

THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME. Here's a look at what else we might expect on the right wing agenda.

PASSING ON. Judy Bonds, a longtime opponent of mountaintop removal mining, died after a struggle with cancer.

SHAKEUP. Big changes are probably on the way for the WV state senate.

CATS don't like their routines messed with.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED