November 24, 2007

WEEKEND SPECIAL: THE FORTUNETELLER RETURNS!


Note for first time visitors: It is the policy of this blog to cover fairly serious human issues during the week. Weekends, however, are reserved for the commentaries of various animals in and around Goat Rope Farm.

This weekend, we once again welcome Madame Ouspenskaya, a noted fortune teller.

(Note: any resemblence between Madame Ouspenskaya and Sandor Sege, GR's canine film critic is purely coincidental.)

As a result of a massive technological upgrade, Goat Rope is able to provide what is probably the blogosphere's first and only animal-provided fortune service. To access this feature, simply place the palm of your hand on the computer screen and then scroll down to receive your reading.

Note: If you just scroll down without first holding your hand to the screen, the results will be invalid. And, yes, that means you. OK, fine, be that way if you want to but don't blame us.

MADAME OUSPENSKAYA SPEAKS

You are a person of many contrasts, strong yet vulnerable. From the lines on your hand I can see that you like getting things you want, but dislike it when unpleasant things happen to you.

When you have nothing to occupy your time and interest, you become bored, which is something a complicated person such as yourself finds tedious.

When you are in pain, you would like relief from suffering. Yet you would prefer pleasant sensations to continue.

You may become angry when treated in an insulting or degrading manner. When startled, you may become surprised. When confronted with something that is really gross and vile, you may become disgusted.

A unique personality such as yours will find sadness to be depressing.

Here is my prediction for you. Much of your life will take place in time and space. Throughout the rest of it, you will seek out and hope for things that seem good to you and try to avoid terrible things, not always with success. Your relations with others will vary from good to bad. Some days will be better than others. In a temporal sense, you will be more immediately affected by things that will happen sooner than later, although later events will seem as if they happen in the present when you get there.

This above all: you should be generous in giving edible treats to anyone who advises you regarding your future.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

4 comments:

Cuz in OH said...

I put my hand on the screen as directed (leaving a faint greasy palm print) and got my fortune, which I LOVE. Very informative, and right on the button!!! How do you do it????? Amazing!

(p.s.: your word verifications are the hardest ones going. I get them wrong alot and they have to give me another one.)

dumb ole me said...

Wouldn't you know it ~ after I posted, I glanced over and noticed the word verification was a super-easy 5 letter thing that a 3 year old could read, making me look like an idiot.

(ps - Is it cold up in New England?)
(pps - Jean and Bobbie look like they are doing much better than Mary and me.)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Thank you for the reading, Madame Ouspenskaya. However, it sounds to me much like the horoscopes (not all mine) I have read in the past week.

Please give my regards to Mr. Sandor Sege and my apologies for missing his fine film critiques over the past few weeks. Now that I again have a high speed Internet connection I shall be drooping bye, uh, I mean “dropping by,” more frequently.

El Cabrero said...

Hey Cousin,
The Madame is pretty good with her readings. She nailed mine. I have trouble with those word verifications too--sometimes they're really hard to read. It comes with the program. We hit some heavy snow up there.

Hey Nick,
Welcome back! High speed internet is the best thing since fermentation.