WEEKEND SPECIAL: THE CANINE FILM CRITIC REVIEWS "FRANKENSTEIN"

For first time visitors, during the week this blog covers fairly serious topics. The weekends, however belong to the animals.

Each weekend, space is provided for commentaries by one of several talking animals, each of which has a particular field of interest and expertise.

This weekend, we are pleased to welcome back the boxer Sandor Sege (pronounced Shandor Shegg-AY), official Goat Rope Farm film critic.

(We must discretely remind the reader that Mr. Sege sustained a head injury some time back when he crashed into a wall whilst chasing a squeaky toy. As a result, he sometimes transposes the plots of the movies he discusses. We apologize for this regrettable shortcoming but nevertheless believe that his insights into the world of cinema are worthwhile.)

We hope that features such of this will elevate the discourse of our time and promote a greater appreciation of the humanities and the animalities.

THE CANINE FILM CRITIC DISCUSSES "FRANKENSTEIN"

Moomus and Doodus say this movie was made in 1931, which must be a dark place.

There's this guy, see, and he wants to discover the secret of life so he goes around and gets all these dead people and puts pieces of them together.

What did he do with the rest of them? Do you think he rolled around in them? Sometimes I like to roll around in dead things.

Anyway, then he zapped the guy he made from all the pieces, who turned out to be a flat headed big footed grunt guy.

Doodus told Moomus if he was going to make a monster he's just zap one regular dead guy instead of going through all the work of stitching one together from a bunch of dead guys. Moomus said that would probably be easier but that Doodus was still a dork.

Anyway, the monster's parents go away and leave the monster home alone. While he's there by himself, these two burglars try to break into his house and he has to outwit them.

After that, he's this woman on a big boat who breaks up with her jerk boyfriend for this other guy but the boat hits an iceberg and sinks.

I thought that whole plot was a little too predictable. I mean, who wouldn't see that coming? What else would you expect from a flat headed big footed grunt guy? Sure he's gonna be a woman on a boat.

And the whole flat head iceberg thing? That's way overused.

That's the trouble with a lot of these movies.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED