February 24, 2007
WEEKEND SPECIAL: YOUR FORTUNE TOLD HERE
For first time readers, it is the policy of Goat Rope to provide semi-serious commentary during the week, seasoned with gratuitous animal pictures.
During the weekend, however, the animals get to speak for themselves.
This weekend, we are pleased to introduce a new commentator, Madame Ouspenskaya, a fortune teller well versed in the occult arts.
(Note: any resemblence between Madame Ouspenskaya and Goat Rope's canine film critic is purely coincidental.)
Thanks to a massive upgrade by the Goat Rope tech crew, we believe we are about to break new ground in blogospheric history, to wit, the first online animal fortune teller.
Here's how the system works. First, hold your palm to your computer screen. Then, scroll down to access Madame Ouspenskaya's reading.
Hey! You're not supposed to scroll down until you've held your hand to the screen.
And Yes! This means you.
MADAME OUSPENSKAYA'S READING
Your palm--it speaks to me. It tells me of your journey through life, of what has been and what is yet to be.
Your journey is long and varied. You will know many moments of both joy and sadness, of companionship and solitude.
In moments of companionship, you must sniff and let yourself be sniffed.You must share the popcorn of life and chase its many sticks.
Yet when moments of solitude come, you must embrace them. Clasp solitude to your bosom as if it were your friend.
A squeaky toy can help at these moments.
You must learn what to chase and what not to chase.
And you will know moments of failure and embarassment, when you use the bathroom on the floor.
This too shall pass.
GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED