February 05, 2013
You be the judge
Image by way of wikipedia.
Far be it from El Cabrero to ever discuss, gossip or blog about the marital woes of my friends, having a surfeit of my own. Recently, however, I learned of an incident so egregious, so heinous that I am not sure forgiveness for it can be found in this or any other world.
It was of an order of magnitude that would seem to tax the very mercy of Our Lord and Our Lady and the boundless compassion of Amida Buddha.
And it had to do not with the sins of the flesh, nor with cruelty or avarice, but rather with Netflix.
Let's suppose that a couple, otherwise happily married up to this point, enjoyed watching a series together. Let's call it Mad Men.
Now imagine that one partner is away and is unavailable for shared family time of watching 1960s males behaving badly.
The honorable thing, worthy of the praise of decent folk everywhere, would be to forgo the pleasure of the show until the beloved's return.
Still, given the frailty of human nature, it might be forgiven if one watched it alone and then watched it again without complaint upon the joyous reunion.
Less praiseworthy but still permissible would be to watch it, keep the disc and encourage the partner to watch it as convenient.
But no. Imagine the sheer perfidy--it makes the angels weep to think on it!--of watching the disc solo and then sending it back in the mail before the beloved even had a chance to watch.
Did Heaven look on this and not send aid?
I'm trying to think of where Dante might have classified this sin in his Inferno. Not with the sins of intemperance, which got off the easiest. Nor with the violent, who occupied the next rung down. As I see, the minute the US Postal Service became involved, this became an act of video betrayal, placing the offender at risk of lying frozen in the ice beside Caiaphas and near the three headed body of Satan, chewing forever on Judas, Brutus and Cassius.
In fact, one of those three guys might even get a break for the first time in 2000 or so years...
(The fact that the video marital betrayal occurred with a video about marital betrayal only adds a post-modern veneer to a primal iniquity.)
This one is too tough for me to call. What do you think, Gentle Reader? Is redemption possible here?
GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: NINTH CIRCLE OF YOU KNOW WHERE