October 19, 2011
Goats announce farm occupation
We should have expected this given the worldwide outbreak of protests inspired by Occupy Wall Street. The goats here have announced their official occupation of Goat Rope Farm after meeting in a general assembly to prepare their demands.
According to Arcadia S. Venus, duly elected spokesperson, who stressed that she was not the leader of the group, "We want grain at least twice a day, plus beet pulp, alfalfa cubes and decent hay. And we demand clean drinking water and a formal acknowledgement that whenever we poop in it it's your fault."
Since these demands have basically all been met, aside from the formal acknowledgement, we anticipate that the occupation will continue indefinitely.
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GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED