September 28, 2011

Jesus and goats, or a caprine crime wave

I have long noticed that Jesus, or at least the author(s) of the Gospel of Matthew, didn't seem to like goats much. In chapter 25 of that gospel, it is said that the apocalyptic Son of Man will come and

he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left.

The guys on the left are gonna get it.

Since we got goats, I've had a few problems with that verse. I mean, goats can't help not being sheep, whereas people presumably have some type of choice about whether they will behave decently. Amongst my many heretical musings I also began to wonder whether the Second Person of the Holy Trinity harbored a prejudice against goats...or did he just have better information?

A caprine crime wave that hit Goat Rope Farm last night helped to answer that question. It seems that Cornelius Agrippa (above) decided to batter his way into the part of the barn where grain and hay are stored....

...busting up a door in the meantime. He was then joined by several accomplices and they had a good time knocking over storage cans, chowing down, relieving themselves on fresh hay and generally trashing the place.

I'm now willing to concede the point. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Jesus knew a thing or two about a thing or two.

TAXING QUESTIONS. A new poll suggests that Americans overwhelmingly favor increasing taxes on the wealthy.


COAL GOING UNDER? Some analysts predict a steep decline in the WV coal industry over the next few years.



hollowdweller said...

Yes, they are of the devil.

Glad they helped you find your faith

El Cabrero said...

The ones in that picture look like Saanens, don't they? For truly devilish goats, the artist should have thrown in an Alpine.