WEEKEND SPECIAL: A DOG EXPLAINS "ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW"

For first time visitors, this blog generally covers fairly serious human issues during the week. Weekends, however, are reserved for the contributions of various animals in and around Goat Rope Farm.

This weekend, we once again welcome back Mr. Sandor Sege (pronounced Shardor Shegg-AY), our offical film critic.

We must remind the reader that Mr. Sege suffered a head injury when he crashed into a wall whilst chasing a squeaky toy. As a result, he has sometimes been known to transpose the plots of the movies he discusses. Nevertheless, we believe that his unique insights into the world of cinema more than compensate for this regrettable shortcoming.

This weekend, Mr. Sege will discuss The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

THE CANINE FILM CRITIC EXPLAINS ROCKY HORROR

OK, this movie is like a documentary or something. These two people named Brad and Janet have car trouble and have to walk to this castle where there's all these weird people walking around in underwear and singing.

Sometimes Moomus does that.

The weirdest person in the castle is Frankenfurter, who is like this guy from India trying to lead his country to independence. He wears robes and makes people march for salt and get beat up.

I like salt on popcorn but not as much as butter. If I was going to get beat up, I'd rather do it for butter.

Anyway, Frankenfurter wants to be all peaceful with the British until he gets kicked out of Cuba. Then he becomes like this big drug dealer guy who uses the same word over and over and has white powder all over his face.

I guess it's salt.

He goes on this big adventure to get his bicycle back after somebody steals it, does a tequila dance in a motorcycle bar, and winds up with his girlfriend Dotty after he gets his bike back. They make a movie about it but it's like a movie in a movie.

There's a lot of symbolism in this movie. The bicycle stands for liberation and you have to give up a lot of salt or something to get it.

Doodus says he likes the parts where the hot nun sings. Moomus says she's not a nun in this movie and that Doodus is a dork.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED