So I'm a troll

I seem to recall reading somewhere that Karl Marx, when overcome with an outbreak of carbuncles, found solace in writing obscene Portuguese poetry. That wasn't an option for me during my week + of zombie fever, which I devoutly hope has passed. While the Spousal Unit is fluent in that language, my knowledge of it is limited to one obscenity (anatomical in nature).

Instead, as I have mentioned before, I've found what solace I could in trying to out-troll right wing trolls lurking around the Charleston Gazette website, always a target-rich environment. In one recent article about the Affordable Care Act, a troll wrote that "government should not be in the business of deciding who lives and who dies." I wrote that I totally agreed and that these decisions should be left to corporations and the market like they are now.

Recently, the Gazette ran a thoughtful editorial about how some of our political polarization is based on deep psychological factors. Yeah, well, whatever. Here's what my troll alter-ego had to say about all that:

This is just a clever attempt to take the reader's mind off the eternal struggle between the forces of Coal, which are all good, and the forces of EPA, which are all evil all the time. Remember, in the last days, Coal will triumph over its enemies and make everyone who ever lived bow down before it, the way most WV politicians do now, for the final judgment.

If nothing else, I can rest my fever-ridden body a little easier in the knowledge that I've attempted to keep the web as a refuge of sanity and rationality.

JUST ONE LINK TODAY, about the end of the world, of course.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: THE NEXT NOTCH ABOUT ELEVATED

The Secret for dogs

A few years back, the New Age book titled The Secret told readers that the universe was pretty much a wish-granting machine. Here at Goat Rope Farm, the humans are pretty skeptical of such claims, but the animals appear to be true believers.

One great practitioner of The Secret is Arpad, the Great Pyrenees who serves as security chief. He seems to believe that the universe is like a banquet spread out just for him--and it seems to work out that way.

Wednesday, while on a routine afternoon walk, he struck out on his own following his nose and showed up shortly thereafter with the latest gift from the universe, which consisted of the skull, spinal column and ribs of a deer that went down during hunting season.

For him, it's just another example of the generosity of the universe.

A BANG OR A WHIMPER? Here are some possible doomsday scenarios for your dining and dancing pleasure.

ANCIENT PERUVIANS ATE POPCORN. So what movies did they watch?

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

One more (zombie) thing

OK, for the record, I never swore off blogging about zombies. I just said I planned on cutting back a bit. And I have, mostly.

But a friend sent me this item about how Delaware County Ohio health officials used volunteer “zombies” to help with a hazardous materials decontamination drill. When the call for zombies went out, people came from as far as 100 miles away to join in. They were given instructions for makeup and those who needed it  got help in that department. There was even a “best zombie walk” contest.

Fortunately for the volunteers, they were decontaminated with a fire hose and candy rather than having their brains whacked.  But some zombiephobes, including no doubt my over-educated daughter, would want to remind the public that real zombies won’t go down that easy.

(Said daughter also has a thing about bears…which makes me wonder about the possibility of a zombie/bear alliance.)

GEARING UP FOR THE SOCIAL JUSTICE FIGHTS OF 2012? Click here.

ARGUMENTATIVE TEENS may not be such a bad thing.

APOCALYPSE NOW? Maybe not.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

Gratitude for bad things that didn't happen

Methinks the human race is kid of wired for ingratitude. We notice when things are bad more than when they're not. How many times does a typical person recognize when he or she doesn't have a toothache and be thankful?

El Cabrero is trying to do better in that department. Last week, for example, my foot suddenly swelled up like a balloon. It was hot and it hurt. I couldn't put a shoe on it. Until then, I was excited about having that knee surgery that allowed me to jog again. But I could barely limp with this.

After looking around on the web, I was convinced I had gout, which apparently isn't just for 18th century aristocrats anymore.

I was not happy.

Then it just went away. I'm jogging again. And gingerly kicking a heavy bag.

I'm grateful today for not having gout. And all the other bad things that aren't happening at the moment.


POLLUTION. The right wing jobs program.

INEQUALITY. Here's a quick look at why it matters.

SO NOW YOU KNOW. Some millipedes sing.

THAT WHOLE END OF THE WORLD THING apparently didn't happen.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

Social media: rethinking the limits

About a year ago, popular New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell published an article in that magazine about the limits of social media like Facebook and Twitter in movements for social change.

I was pretty impressed with his argument at the time. If memory serves, he talked about how weak ties such as those from an online community could help in accomplishing some things, these would not be enough when push came to shove. The US Civil Rights movement, for example, relied on strong ties based on trust and commitment.

Then came the events of the "Arab spring" earlier this year and the success of the Occupy Wall Street movement in which social media played a major role. It might be time to rethink Gladwell's argument. Obviously, it's not a case of either/or but social media has turned out to be more of a game changer that I would have expected.

Here's a little anecdote about the impact of social media from the Occupy efforts in Charleston, WV. Yesterday, a wet and miserable day for occupying anything, an official connected with the city apparently came by the Occupy site and told people they'd need to take down their tarps and signs.

Word got out via Facebook right away. People jumped in, made calls, contacted the media, etc. In the end, a compromise was achieved. That's not exactly a case of turning back the tanks but it was interesting.

FRAMING THE OCCUPATION. Here are some suggestions from George Lakoff on messaging for the movement.

THE END OF THE WORLD, AGAIN. Oct. 21 is the latest predicted date for the end of the world. Here's a look a predicted apocalypses of the past. There seems to be a common theme...something about not happening.

OCCUPYING THOUGHTS. Here's the latest edition of the Rev. Jim Lewis' Notes from Under the Fig Tree.

URGENT ZOMBIE WASP UPDATE here. And it's really creepy. This would make one hell of a gross out horror movie if it happened to people.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

Mark your calendar

Some true believers have predicted that the Rapture will occur on Saturday, May 21. This event will involve the elect disappearing and bodily ascending into Heaven while everyone else will be left behind for what is believed to be A Major Drag.

Not that I've been consulted or anything, but this weekend is going to be a real pain in the nether regions for me. If the world is REALLY going to end in the next few days--not that I'm saying I want it to--could we move it up to Friday morning? Preferably before the ungodly early hour I'll have to wake up? Like maybe around 4:00 am? And instead of dragging it out, could we just shut down the whole project in one fell swoop? Thanks.

WANT TO WASTE MONEY? Here's how.

I HAVE TWO PUNCHING BAGS that I enjoy whacking. One is in the garage. The other is the "philosophy" of Ayn Rand. Someone else enjoys whacking the second one.

NOTE: This post has been scheduled for publication in a few hours because at some point I need to sleep. If anything bad happens between now and then, let the record show once again that I was officially against it.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

Dis-arming Grendel

Aikido image by way of wikipedia.

Sometimes when reading various classics or works of literature, my mind gets sidetracked to certain obscure questions. These may be fairly random, like wondering why Victor Frankenstein took the trouble to stitch several bodies together before animating his monster instead of using just one. Or why in the Iliad King Priam of Troy didn't tell Paris and Helen to get a room in some other city and save a whole bunch of trouble.

At other times, the martial artist in me wonders about technical details. Example: just what throw did Orlando use against Charles in Shakespeare's As You Like It? Ditto with how Gilgamesh threw Enkidu in the world's oldest surviving epic (I suspect he used something like judo's uki otoshi).

A similar question arises in Beowulf's fight with Grendel. The hero vowed to use no arms against the monster. After a feast, he and his homies settle down to sleep in the cursed mead hall. Grendel kills one Geat before he turns to Beowulf, who pretends to be sleeping:

...Venturing closer,
his talon was raised to attack Beowulf
where he lay on the bed; he was bearing in
with open claw when the alert hero's
comeback and armlock forestalled him utterly.
The captain of evil discovered himself
in a handgrip harder than anything
he had ever encountered in any man
on the face of the earth. Every bone in his body
quailed and recoiled, but he could not escape.

Any grappler who has ever had their arm caught in a nasty joint lock will probably feel at least a twinge of sympathy for Grendel. It's no fun at all, even if the opponent doesn't yank off your arm like Beowulf did Grendel's. But the martial arts nerd in me asks, which armlock was it? Inquiring minds want to know!

(My guess was a bent arm lock like judo's ude garami.)

Believe it or not, I'm not the only person who thinks about things like this. While surfing the web, I found a scholar who reconstructed the fight based on a close reading of the text proposes a straight arm lock similar to aikido's ikkyo technique.

Bent or straight, take your pick. All you have to do is click on the links and then, you too, Gentle Reader, will be ready to take on a man-eating humanoid Grendel wannabe. As I've rhetorically asked before, is this a full service blog or what?

p.s. You might want to practice a time or two first.

WISCONSIN. A new poll finds that most Wisconsin residents are not amused by their governor's union busting.

WORLD HUNGER could be vastly reduced if women had more equal access to services, education and resources.

THIS IS KIND OF SAD. Here's an article about how psychiatry went from talking to people to dispensing pills with minimal human interaction.

APOCALYPSE NOW AND THEN. Here's a look at doomsday scenarios throughout history.

NOTE: This post was scheduled for publication in advance as I have to be on the road at an ungodly hour. If anything really bad happens in the meantime, let the record show that I was officially against it.

GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED