June 24, 2006

WEEKEND SPECIAL: DENNY DIMWIT FACES CONTROVERSY


Ordinarily, the weekend Goat Rope post is reserved for the learned commentaries of bantam rooster and noted free market economist Dr. Denton “Denny” Dimwit (pictured left). Dr. Dimwit is director of the Goat Rope Farm Entrepreneurship Center, which models itself closely on the WVU Entrepreneurship Center. And, contrary to persistent rumors, he is not the ghostwriter for the political columns of the WV State Journal.

However, due to unusual circumstances, we have been asked to allow Persephone, aka Denny’s BIG hen, (pictured right) the opportunity to make a public statement

The BIG Hen Speaks

I would like to say that I was mortified to discover that a certain…creature known as Denny Dimwit has been writing about me on the worldwide web. In his weekly screeds, he speaks of me in the most objectifying manner and implies that some kind of relationship exists between us.

Let me state firmly that I am not now and never have been romantically involved with this little squirt. Until very recently I wasn’t even aware that he was a rooster. I thought he was just an unusually loud and irritating mosquito.

Further, I would not be involved with Denny Dimwit even if he bought the stilts that he so desperately needs on his beloved free market and was the last rooster on earth. Finally, Denny Dimwit’s views regarding females are as backward and wrongheaded as his views on economics.

Thank you for this chance to clear the air.


NOTE FROM THE EDITOR. It is the strict policy of Goat Rope to maintain scrupulous neutrality in intra-henhouse disputes. However, we did allow Dr. Dimwit the opportunity to respond.

THE DIMWIT DISPATCH

Crudzooks! That was SO not funny! I don’t know who wrote that but they're gonna pay. Probably those goats or that lazy cat. I’ll deal with them later

Just get this through your head. The BIG hen did NOT write the above statement. At all. She’s crazy about me. Totally bonkers. Nuts. Gaa Gaa. Gone. And in case you’re wondering, Jack, yeah—she’s with me!

This is just a cheap trick by those caterpillar brains who write for this blog during the week to draw attention away from their own stupidity and to discredit the free market system. Well, it’s not going to work.

Market this!

That’s the truth. You bet your cloaca.


GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

1 comment:

El Ermitano said...

I have an old pair of bantam rooster stilts that I'd donate to Dr. Dimwit--just to see if his cloaca is as big as his mouth.