April 08, 2006

WEEKEND SPECIAL: DENNY DIMWIT ON HEALTH CARE


Goat Rope is once again pleased to present another learned commentary by bantam rooster and noted free market economist Dr. Denton “Denny” Dimwit. Dr. Dimwit is director of the Goat Rope Farm Entrepreneurship Center, which is not yet directly affiliated with the WVU Entrepreneurship Center but has made infinitesimal but significant progress in that direction since last week.

It is our policy to provide space for opposing and non-human viewpoints to give our readers fair and balanced coverage of vital issues and promote civil discourse.


THE DIMWIT DISPATCH

What’s all this stupid stuff about health care? Who needs health care? Nobody needs health care. Everybody just needs to be like me. Yeah. Just like me.

Oh…Wait a minute…If everyone was like me, we’d all be roosters. That would be terrible. OK, forget that part. Just follow the Denny Dimwit health plan and let the market do the rest.

Here’s how it goes. OK. First, get up early in the morning. I mean real early. Way before the sun. How else do you think the sun knows when to get up? Then make a lot of noise. Over and over. Say anything you want but ERRRRKKKK ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRKK ERRRRRRRKKKK works for me. If the neighbors don’t like it, they can kiss your tail feathers.

Then follow the Dimwit diet, which is to walk around and pick things off the ground. Doesn’t matter what. It’s free enterprise. Got it?

Finally, you need to get a lot of exercise. If you check out the picture, the little handsome guy is me. See what’s next the me? Yeah man. That’s my favorite exercise equipment. Jeez, that’s one BIG hen. She’s huge!!! Isn’t that great? Yowza! I gotta go. It’s market time.

That’s the truth. You bet your cloaca.


GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED

No comments: