March 12, 2006
WV WAGE BILL PASSES: GOATS CLAIM VICTORY
“We came, we saw, we kicked,” said a jubilant Arcadia S. Venus, leader of the United Cabrines and Surly Quadrupeds of America (UCSQA) after the WV Legislature passed a bill raising the state minimum wage. The goat union previously endorsed the increase measure.
When asked about the contributions of other groups to the struggle, Venus was dismissive. “You guys did what you could, but face it: you were toast till we got here. The thing to remember about us goats is, we don’t care. When we roll, we roll.”
Venus also observed that working people would be more likely to gain their just objectives if they “became more goatlike. The motto of the UCSQA is ‘All attitude all the time.”
Still, she cautioned observers not to misinterpret goat involvement. “It’s not that we like you guys that much. You’re just lucky we were bored.”
GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: CHILL FOR A WHILE
by El Cabrero