March 18, 2006
WEEKEND SPECIAL: BANTAM ROOSTER PROVIDES OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS
In an effort to provide the kind of fair and balanced reporting the public deserves, Goat Rope is pleased to introduce a new contributor to this blog whose viewpoints may challenge those which regularly appear here.
Professor Denton "Denny" Dimwit, Ph. D., holds a degree from the Close Cover Before Striking School of Free Market Economics. He is director of the Goat Rope Farm Entrepreneurship Center (which is not directly affiliated with the WVU Entrepreneurship Center, although it is actively seeking affiliation).
THE DIMWIT DISPATCH:
OK. It's about time you had somebody on this blog who knows what he's talking about. I'm getting sick of hearing about workers' rights. We should be talking about the free market, which is all good, all knowing and all perfect. Think of it as a rooster like me, only bigger. Yeah, that's it. A really big rooster just like me.
The beauty of the big rooster, I mean free market, is that anything you do to help working people only hurts them and that the best way to help them is to really hurt them. I mean really stick it to them good. Isn't that great?
Another thing. Government should never interfere with the free market. Ever. In fact, government should never do anything. Except maybe give corporations tax breaks or outright subsidies or grants or maybe unbid contracts. That would be OK. Or protect patents or intellectual property. And clean up the messes corporations make so they don't have to. And like maybe provide infrastructure. Busting unions is OK too. So is locking up lots of poor people in prisons, especially if they are privatized, and defending the sacred rights of property. And invading other countries to protect corporate interests. But that's it.
This is why it's good for Wal-Mart to get a billion dollars in government subsidies but it's bad to make Wal-Mart provide more health care or pay states the difference. It's totally scientific.
I'll prove it: OK. Suppose that a stands for all that is good and b stands for all that is bad. It follows that a is not b. Got it? Ok. Then a=a and b=b. What could be clearer?
And that's the truth. You can bet your cloaca on it.
GOAT ROPE ADVISORY LEVEL: ELEVATED
by El Cabrero